-=- He's Just Not That Into You -=-

“Whoever said there were plenty of fish in the sea was lying. Sometimes, there’s only one fish.” - Ally Mc Beal

I realized that if a guy wants to be with you, he will let you know. You won’t have to send him a text message by mistake or “suddenly”. Show up at his fave gimmick place or plan a “chance” encounter. If he was really into you, he’d take every possible chance to see you. Moral of the story? Stop analyzing or agonizing over his so-called moves. If he’s not asking you out, chances are, he doesn’t see you as girlfriend material.

Normally, guys would choose to walk on a tightrope than tell you they don’t like you. But this is what you have to do. Yes, you may give yourself time to mope but do not EVER think that something is wrong with you. When a guy you’ve spent an awful time a lot of time flirting or bonding with suddenly disappears, all your insecurities seem magnified. Your hips get bigger, your zits multiply or your hair become frizzier. Don’t let it get you. No, you don’t have to change anything. You get along well with guys and friendship is never a bad thing. It’s just that you’re not his type. The truth is always hard to swallow. Don’t feel bad. You are wonderful in your own way. Move on and find the guy who will see that even on your I-feel-ugly days.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. What if he’s just busy? Or what if he’s just not ready for a relationship? Or he’s just torpe? Stop making excuses. Stop thinking of all kinds of reasons why he hasn’t called, texted or asked you out. One of my guy friends once told me, if he really liked you, he should have done something by now. He would have contacted you even if he was “busy.” And even if he’s “chicken,” he would get up the guts to court you if he was really crushing hard. Don’t give meaning to every little thing he does. But if you get confused and are not sure whether or not there is something going on, talk to your other, more trusted guy friends. Your girl friends will more often than not tell you what you want to hear or tell you “do whatever makes you happy.” Your guy friends will tell you the truth. The honest to goodness truth. Sometimes, that is all you need to hear to open your eyes to what is really happening.

I’ve always been the unbelievably optimistic girl. I secretly wished that this guy I like would finally call or ask me out. Bring me flowers and all that mushy stuff. Maybe I should give him some time. Whatever. The only thing I should be doing is to stop wasting my time on him. Really, spend more time with friends. He may not be that into you, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough to become someone else’s girlfriend. Just think about it, if you compute the time you waste waiting by the phone or daydreaming about the guy you’re crushing on, how many hours would you have spent? Stay hopeful, but move on. If he’ll really be into you, then that time will come. But don’t put your life on hold and wait for it.

Yes, it’s hard. Even I haven’t gotten over this guy I like. But we have to start somewhere. You will never move on if you don’t face the fact that Mr. Right isn’t your Mr. Right.  And please, don’t think that it’s the end of the world or you’re stuck there. Instead of agonizing that you’re not his type, be assured that someone else out there Will think you’re fabulous-and that’s what you deserve.

Source: Janis Ian C. Gopez’s article: “Always the Best friend”