Post Valentines Thoughts

I am so glad that Valentines day was over again. Of course it should be just another day.. but how can you treat it as ordinary if all you can see are couples around being sweet and having dinner. Honestly, it is so hard to be so naive during this day. I admit I am always sad and bitter every Valentines day. I often ask myself why I am alone and has no one to celebrate with. I stay at the gym while others enjoy their dinner with their loved ones. Oh well.

Thank God everything becomes normal come February 15.

Maybe Valentines day should really be a holiday.

I never celebrated Valentines day. It's just not my day.

So for the bitter people, I'm one of them. I guess it's natural. 

But as the saying goes, time will come for that special someone to be with you every Valentines.

Wait wait wait. 

Life.

Amazing 2012

Of course, it has been a tradition.. writing my own recap of the year that past.

My 2012 can be described in two words. Travel and Buffet. Just kidding. 

Well seriously, 2012 has been a great year for me. I cannot say it is the best one, but definitely a good one. Maybe because it is full of experiences I had in different places and wonderful moments with friends and loved ones. Yeah, like my twitter profile says, I am still 27 and still singing the same song. 2012 is just a glimpse of hopefully, the best year to come. So here goes a brief review of the year that was.

TRAVEL

My blog is full of my stories about the places I've been to this year. I have traveled to Korea, Coron, Taiwan, Singapore, and Vietnam. What a great way to maximize my 18 vacation leaves this year at work. The best trip of course is Korea because it is my hometown =) Kidding aside, I fell in love to Korea and I really want to go back here. The weather, the food, the shopping, and the people makes me miss this place so much. Of course, Coron is also a good island, but because of the propeller plane, I am hesitant to go back. Anyway, our two day trip to Taiwan is a stressful one but I think we managed to explore Taiwan enough, given a small time. But I forgot to try their version of Chatime. Spending two weeks in Singapore almost broke me. Just kidding. But yeah, spending 2 weeks is a lot of time for a costly place. I didn't get my luck here but no regrets, at least I tried and experienced what it's like to be here for some time. I miss shopping in Singapore. I came here during the great Singapore Sale and really bought a lot especially in Cotton On. Compared to Manila, Cotton On prices are times three. I'm not kidding. Some items I bought in Singapore are sold here thrice the value. How unfortunate. Thatt is why I am never going to buy here in Cotton On Manila. My last trip of 2012 is in Hanoi, Vietnam. A place where you can have a Motorcylophobia, fear of motorcycle. I don't have one but I started to feel it in my 3-days trip =) Hanoi is famous for their high-quality branded bags Northface and crumpler so I bought luggage and bags here.. so cheap with original quality. Explored Halong Bay which is quite similar ambiance when I was in Coron. Well, Coron is better for its diving facilities. So that's it, my major travels. Looking forward to spending my 20 leaves again in 2013, traveling.

BUFFET

Of course, if you will check my blogs, almost everything is about food. This is the year I almost tried every buffet deals in town. Having buffet with good friends is a great experience. It has been our bonding moments this year. Without this, I think we are lost for stories and won't catch up with each other. That's maybe the reason I gained 10lbs at the end of the year. I will just hit the gym in 2013 again after being away for two months. Anyway, the best buffet for me is Market Cafe, Hyatt Hotel, and Heat, Edsa Shang. The worst would be Cafe Jeepney, Intercon and F1 Hotel. After this year, I am not looking forward to more buffet in 2013, unless I lose that 10lbs again. And also, I tried almost every buffet so that experience is something already.  I am just going to lose that pounds then I'll be back with vengeance =)

CAREER

When I failed to find job in Singapore last June, I thought it's the end of finding success. But as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason so I just keep trying to apply and apply then finally got the good news, not in Singapore but here in HSBC Manila. Getting an upgrade is a gift these days. I am very thankful and I love my job now. Learning SAS is cool. I am happy with my job right now. 

FRIENDS and FAMILY

Having healthy family and friends, no worries.. can I ask for more?

LOVE

What can I say? Love is a complicated thing to handle. GO with the flow. If it comes, let it come. If not, then it will come, someday. I am hopeful. I'm ready. 2013, make me happy. #alamna Puh-please?

KOBE and Co.

My Lakers are struggling this year. Chemistry is just starting to build with Nash coming back from injury. Gonna keep pushing hard up to the playoff spot this year. I'm not expecting a the 17th banner this year with the current kind of defense, but they have the talent and what it takes to win, just need to find themselves together. Go go go! 

Goodbye wonderful 2012... Cheers to a promising 2013 =)

Then He Stays With Me

This is In response to my blog "Then He Sleeps Again"..

I have now understood everything. Sometimes, all we have to do is understand each other. Yeah, miscommunication can really harm a relationship. From the very start, I should have been prepared in this kind of situation. I'm glad we have talked about it and we know that it is hard and the distance is killing us but we will stay with each other. We have to make some efforts especially on his part as the time difference is not a good setup. It's funny, this time around, he slept while talking to me. If that is what we need then so be it. Still, I know this could work.. together we will make it work. Sigh.

Then He Sleeps Again

It hurts you know, being away from someone special to you. After a long day, all you want is a text or call from him to somehow brighten up your day.

But what if he doesn't show his commitment to you like he often sleeps and forgot to even text you? Maybe he is just not that into you right?

I never believed in LDR, but I tried.

It may have worked with others, but that is because they have the same feeling. They have the commitment to hold. And they have the time for each other.

What love? Maybe you should ask yourself.

If this is how you will show your love, it won't work you know.

Goodbye for now.

That Kind of Spark

After this party, people are asking me what happened to "us".

I just laughed. Well because nothing happened. 

My friends keep asking me that we really have chemistry and we so fit together. What else can I say? Oh yeah. Of course, I agreed. He was my all-time crush at work. But I always tell them that the spark and chemistry we have will only be just like that because I know that if he likes me he would have told me beforehand. 

It's hard to keep holding on to something that isn't there in the first place. What do I  do? As usual, deal with it of course. Never assume of something that isn't going to happen. It's been years already. Thankfully, I am coping seriously better.

In end, I appreciate all of my friends' comments about our rapport but hey, he doesn't like me. That's life! We all should accept that 'cause I did already. Things have changed for good.

Kaboom!

Going the Distance

It's funny 'cause the first time I saw this movie, It didn't have any effect on me. Actually it's forgettable. But today, I watched it in my laptop again and yeah, I find myself laughing and crying at some scenes.

It's heartbreaking. Long Distance I mean.

You keep holding on to the phrase, "We'll figure it out" at times and you just have to cry it all out to sleep. 

I don't know how to survive this kind of situation. We both want each other so bad but we have to wait. We are always learning new things about each other every time we talk. This distance is hard, but so far, I am in it to win it. I know I may be aggravating and I know it is hard for him not to see me doing things here and vise versa. I'm stressed thinking of how much we missed each other everyday wishing we could just be together but the hell with it, as long we trust each other I know everything will be alright in the end. Who knows what will happen? So I am enjoying every moment for now. It's very hard though. It's killing me each day. Love and longing.

Gosh I miss you so much. I can't wait to finally see you again.

Let Go Letter

I hope this is just as easy it could be.

One Week

One week in my new work did not kill me... that's a good sign right? But I must admit that it was not easy adjusting from a relaxed work environment to such a high-pressured job. Yet, at the end of the day, I know I survived. Oatmeal and skyflakes became my best friends. I lose 3 pounds already for not eating like I used to. Good thing I have a very supportive teammates and they all welcomed me and treat me nicely. After all, maybe change is good for me. I have been in my previous department for almost seven years. Now, I am here to a very different working environment. People are busy and talking is almost not allowed as our work required the most detailed-conscious attention. Oh well, let's look at the brightside - I am learning new bank process. If the time comes that I will give up, I guess this learnings will matter in the future so here I am hanging on. More patience needed. Thank God I have some friends to brighten up my mood sometimes and of course, thanks to Viber. Nothing beats a call from someone special after a stressful day.

V-day Gift

Oh what can I say? BIG Thanks to you!

 I never truly celebrated Vday but this gift means a lot to me.

Going 27

Feeling old - That's how am I feeling lately. I am 27 years old by September. I think by end of this year, I have traveled enough and fulfilled my simple dreams (except going to Paris). I feel like settling down next year. Having a baby in 2 years. I have plans already about my future. I feel financially fine. I feel ready to be a mom and good wife too. The only thing I'm waiting, is THE ONE. I'm still praying it was YOU.

02.14.12

Isn't it ironic?

I've mentioned some tips in my previous blog on how to survive Valentines day as single but what happened to me last Vday was unexpected. 

Well, first of all, I am transferring to the other department in our office. It was a surprise. I almost cried after hearing about it. I don't know, maybe because I feel so blessed with the team I have right now, we are so bonded that we are just like family. I'm sure am gonna miss the "FDs". In addition, I saw many couples outside the office, you can see some girls holding flowers and bouquet so I can't help but get a little jealous. Valentines has always been emo day for me. Though some are asking me out, if you are not him, I'd rather be alone and go home early. Anyway, after the announcement of my transfer, I received a surprised package from a friend in Australia. I couldn't actually believe it. It was my first time to have a package or gift on a Vday. I opened it and saw stuff toy, chocolates, and a Vday card with note on it. Maybe the thought of it couldn't outweigh my sad emotions. I should be happy right? But I don't know. I feel so sad. The thought of my transfer overwhelmed me on that day. But still, I called him to say thanks. I don't wanna cry, but I did without him noticing it through the sound of my voice. It was just a 15-minute call because I should head straight to the gym. Yeah, I scheduled my gym on a Valentines day. Why not? It was Tuesday after all. My friend asked me if we could have a chat but I refuse to. I chose gym over him. What happened to me? I felt so insensitive. But I thought going to the gym may ease the sadness but it didn't. I went home around 9pm and couldn't sleep. It was mixed emotions. I felt so bad on that day. It was "crayola" night.

The following day, I chose to be quiet but also realized that everything happens for a reason. Maybe change is good for me. It was just a moment of silence then afterwards, I am back to normal. By night, I talked to him about the package again and was so thankful. It was just that moment that I realized how sweet he was to do such an act. No one ever made me felt so special on a Vday except him. By this time, I am feeling guilty that I never had anything for him on that day just because of the fact that I never ever celebrated this Hearts day before. It was just an ordinary day for me.

Anyway, I don't know what will happen next. That's life. I have to adjust and cope with every situation - good or bad. Look at the brightside, I will learn new job and earn new friends hopefully. Goodbye to my friends and loved one in CAO, I am the overall first draft pick, be ready friends maybe you are next! =)

P.S. I am having the best time in my office especially because I am starting to be close to him again, my seatmate. Maybe fate isn't just so nice to me.. Oh well. To you, GOODBYE AGAIN.

Surviving Valentines Day

 

Why am I even writing this blog about Valentines day? Just "Diether Ocampo" drama? haha. Well I am spending another V-day alone again.. just like every year. Well for all the single ladies like me, it is the lamest day of the year. Of course, as much as possible I want to skip this day because I am jealous to all the couples out there. But do I have a choice? So based on my experience, I think some tips are needed to get through it.

1.) Avoid malls and restaurants - Of course, do you want to see all the cheesy Vday stuff around you?

2.) Watch your favorite family/cartoon/comedy movie - Cheaper by the Dozen, Home Alone, Brother Bear always works for me.

3.) Hit they gym! - Thankfully, Vday this year is my favorite day at the gym because of my favorite class. Just enjoy the class.

4.) Go home early. Sleep early - If there is no overtime at work, go home and sleep.Who doesn't want to sleep at least 8 hours?

5.) Pray - Go to church, thank Him, and pray that you may finally meet your one true love.

6.) Spend your day with your closest friends or family - doesn't need personal appearance. It can be via text, chat, FB, email. Whatever seems to work between you.

7.) Chocolates!!! - This is the best tip for me. Buy your most favorite chocolate. For me, it adds happiness to all the hopeless romantics like me.

8.) Greet your crush/someone special - there will always be that someone in your life. Well a simple text message will do.

9.) Do not swallow the fact that you are single - is this vague? Well, still believe that you are amazingly beautiful and someday someone will be so lucky to have you.

So there you go. Now you know how I am surviving Vday alone every year. Happy Valentines everyone! Always remember to greet everyone with love no matter what your relationship status are. Of course, I am just feeling sentimental and sad during this day of the year, but I guess it's natural. We all want to feel loved. So while you are still waiting for that someone, make sure to surround yourself with the best love you can find! Keep the hopes alive!

Now Playing ♥

Love songs... after a long time of not playing this playlist in my IPOD, I suddenly found the guts and inspiration to listen to these songs again. After all, Valentines day is fast approaching. Who says love songs are only for couples and lovers? Nah. 

Here are some of the good old love songs of the times I'm currently playing. It's just good feel the love right?

I've fallen for you - Jamie Rivera

Swept Away - Christopher Cross

Got to believe in magic - David Pomeranz

In your Eyes - Dan Hill

Always - Atlantic Starr

If ever you're in my arms again - Peabo Bryson

Destiny - Jim Brickman

All my life - America

You're the inspiration - Peter Cetera

Getting To Know Each Other - Gerard Kenny

Please be careful with my heart - Jose Mari Chan

Can we just stop and talk a while - Jose Mari Chan

Afraid for love to fade - Jose Mari Chan

Don't know what to do - Ric Segreto 

Basta't kasama kita - Dingdong Avanzado 

To Love Again - Dingdong Avanzado

Unbearable Kind of Pain

"Emotional pain. You can't see it, like you can see a broken bone, a pale face, an open wound. It's in your head, easy to hide because no one else can see it unless you allow them to see it. It's physical internally, a sick stomach, a tightness in the chest, exhaustion. It can be crippling, an inability to move. You can protect yourself from it with defenses invisible to the eye. It can hit you like a disease, cover you like a shadow, embrace you like a demon.


None of us are immune to it, none of us strangers to it. Some of us break from it, some of us are stronger for it. All of us do everything we can to protect ourselves from it. It has a way of making us feel alone, because even though we know we are not the only ones to face adversity, we are a world unto ourselves and no one else sees the world quite the way we do.


Shutting down to protect yourself may protect your heart, but what is life if you have no one to share it with? The moments I remember most are the moments I spent with others. Opening up your heart leaves you vulnerable to pain. If you never open your heart though, you'll never find joy either.


You never really can fix a heart, once they're broken they're never the same. The jagged edges can scrape your insides raw. It's kind of like my favorite old book though, or my worn, ripped up jeans - just because they're used doesn't mean they're not good anymore."

-Will you Dance with Me?, Life Unexpected

Hello Spark.. Again!

 

Can I explain briefly what spark means to me?

It's like talking to someone and your nerves are shaking. It's like feeling goosebumps all over your body just thinking of that someone. It's when your hands are sweaty and your body suddenly feel cold.

When was the last time I felt that spark?

How about..

..everyday.

"Funny" Night

That awkward feeling when someone asked if you ever had a boyfriend.. you said no, and you look someone sitting next to you and realized that he is the one you ever wish to be your boyfriend.

Blissful

If anybody is wondering what happiness is, here it is. Laying as close as physically possible with someone you love, nothing sexual, just laying there. The intimate moments when you look into their eyes not having to say anything because you know you are both thinking the same thing. You don’t have to say, you just feel. Feeling the world and every worry melt away as they touch you in the most gentle and innocent manner. It’s the moments when you look at them and find yourself at a loss for words because even the way they breathe amazes you. Being wrapped up in their arms and feeling invincible, yet completely vulnerable. Feeling their breath glide down your neck, and their arms around your waist as you run your fingers up and down their side, stunned in complete amazement that they would be here with you. When they kiss you and blood starts rushing through your veins and butterflies feel your entire body, but in the most peaceful and calming way. Being able to close your eyes and still feel the warmth of their heart beating, believing that nothing in this world can hurt you when you are by their side. Hearing them whisper, “I love you” and needing nothing more to be said because that is exactly what you wanted to hear. These words take on a new meaning for you, grasp you in a different way because of this one person who lies next to you, showing you exactly who they are and feeling just as vulnerable. Being able to say “I love you” back and meaning it with every atom in every inch of you, that is pure happiness.

I Still Love You

I guess the perfect title for this is "I Still Will Always Love You"


I say I want to let go of you but yet, I still search quotes which reminds me of you.


Why is it so hard? 


Instead of walking away from you, fate brings us closer each day. 


Every moment beside you, is as good as it gets.


Is this the worst thing to feel? 


Loving someone when you know you shouldn't anymore. 


Oh Cmon!

Two of Us

Will there be a moment for you and me?


Just one moment alone.


I wanted to tell everything.


#wish

Goodbye Wonderful 2011, Hello Promising 2012

Wow it is so amazing how time flies. It’s the time of the year again when I do my list of the best things that happened to me this year.

2011 – I can say it’s been good to me. No serious problem at all. Friends and family are still together. Oh, and still no love life... But unlike last year, this time, it’s been a quiet one when it comes to the matters of the heart. Though I met someone, but.. Go with the flow! Overall, yeah, it’s been a great year. I am so looking forward to 2012. What’s my goal next year? I hope that I may finally find “the one” – how many times did I mention this in my annual summary? I hope next year I have reason to scrap this one haha. Of course, my ultimate plan is to try new ventures abroad come June, just waited seven years in the bank. Supposedly, December of this year is my target date but change of plans. Anyway, I am hopeful for good things ahead. For now, I want to list some the memorable events and trips of my wonderful 2011.

A&S Events – The whole 2011 as Green Team Rep, I'm proud that it all worked out.

Bicol – April 20-23 ~ stressful roadtrip but all worth it with all my good friends.

Pahiyas – May 15 ~ family bonding!

Kobe Bryant in Manila – July 13 ~ Kobe's annual visit in Manila shouldn't be missed at all.

PBA NBA All-Star Weekend – July 23-24 ~ once in a lifetime experience I'm glad I've watched the 2 games.

HSBC Live 4 - July ~ K-pop addiction strikes!

Bacolod - August ~ the best trip this year because of the food!

Davao – October 15-17 ~ eat all you can galore trip!

Manila Ocean Park – October 28 ~ thank God I'm with my friends or this trip is worthless haha.

Puerto Princesa, Palawan – November 19-21 ~ of course, surprisingly became memorable to me.

HSBC Mondiale 2011 – December 9 ~ yeah, it was a great party and we had fun during our practices.

Weddings, Birthdays, Dinners, Videoke, Movie Hang-outs, Teambuildings, Get-togethers, etc.