Grey Anomaly

hmmm... very nice and interesting article...

Moises and Mendez-Palmares: Grey anomaly
By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares

Michelle: I received a forwarded mail entitled “Lessons from Grey’s Anatomy.” I thought it was on how to do a proper cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), or the Heimlich maneuver, until I saw the first entry that said: “A man won’t let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. He will not let go if he really loves you. 
“There is another reason he is not willing to tell.” Hmm, watching McDreamy et al. can actually teach us a thing or two about love and relationships. 
Here’s another lesson from Grey’s: “Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.” 
DJ: This article is very timely. A reader e-mailed us about her dilemma: mutual understanding, the eighth wonder of the world. They’re good friends. Once worked together in a call center. He left after two months and went back to his hometown. 
Now it’s long distance. They share life experiences with each other. She has special feelings for him. He’s said to be in love with his childhood friend. Should she wait? Should she tell him about her feelings? Or should she move on? 
I agree with McDreamy. The set-up is too grey. Move on. Sounds like a slap on the face of romance. But it’s the more realistic proposition. He doesn’t love her. Even if he does, it’s not enough for him to go out of his way to let her know. If there’s a will, there’s a way. 
M: Yeah, these two e-mails appear to connect with each other. 
The lesson learned from the hit TV series is like a scalpel slicing through some of our romantic fantasies. 
And if you read the lessons, most if not all, start with the caveat “do not.” The succeeding lessons include: “ 
Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not compare. Do not look into images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your supposedly perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.” 
DJ: In our reader’s case, though, she was not beaten by a wooden club. She was bitten by the bug love bug! But it’s a slippery slope for her unless he says he loves her. 
Any normal guy, no matter how torpe he is, takes the time to let the girl know. If he doesn’t, it’s not necessarily because he’s shy. This thinking should be banned for guys older than 25. It’s not necessarily because he’s busy. 
This abstract reasoning already received a lifetime achievement award. 
He’s just not keen to move the relationship to the next level. Unless she is willing and is able to risk telling him about her feelings. I know I sound like a mood-killer. But I just don’t believe about waiting even if it takes forever. Why? Because it might really take forever! 
M: The moral of the story is you don’t have to be a doctor to know that love can be complicated and you can avoid the complications if you learn from others, especially if you watch Grey’s Anatomy! 
Seriously, here’s another lesson which I think women who know their worth should find noteworthy. 
“Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it. Speak up. Don’t lose hope. 
There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for whatever reason. 
Do not enter a relationship for the wrong reasons. It is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.” 
DJ: And to add to that, it’s always good to simply step back and see things as they are, without expecting a desired outcome, or a desired answer. Be detached. Besides, one is already complete as an individual. 
M: Yup. You should not force yourself into a relationship. Don’t be afraid to be single. And if you’re married, don’t act like you’re still single! 
DJ: A good idea for next week’s topic! Seriously, it’s fulfilling to find the right person. But it’s even better when one is the right person in his or her own right, in his or her own skin. Besides, it is okay not to be in a relationship. Even when one receives a wedding invitation that says “we have reserved one seat for you.” The world is still enough.